This is the last time I’ll be updating this blog. I started this blog because of Dear, & it’s time to let go. I’ll be changing my email, msn, facebook acc & hp number by the end of Feb. It’s for the best of both of us.
For those close friends of mine out there, you’ll know where to find me -
I’ll be returning to where I belong
独送昏暗不离的风回忆里被爱
那股激动天色好红
温柔好浓在胸口浮现你的面容
一起活在这城市迷宫提起你名字
心还跳动却没重逢
只留下碰却又不敢碰的那种激动
也许我们当时年纪真的太小
从那懵懵懂懂走进各自天空
该怎么说让彼此选择但思念还转动
不能握的手从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执着依然执着
与你无关泪自行吸收
不能握的手却比亲人更亲厚
当所有如果都没有如果
只有失去的温柔最温柔
当又一次美梦落空回忆里被爱
那股激动天色好红
温柔好浓在胸口浮现你的面容
也许我们当时年纪真的太小
从那懵懵懂懂走进各自天空
那是什么让彼此选择
又不仅是尊重
不能握的手从此匿名的朋友
其实我的执着依然执着
却决心和你不再联络
不能握的手却比爱人更长久
当所有如果都没有如果
只有失去的拥有最永久
就
算
我
爱
你
没
那
么
对
齐
也
不
那
么
重
要
了
More Marigold buds grew out today! & a lot was very tiny & cute~ One of the bigger ones grew til so tall, it’s starting to fall sideways! OH NO! Luckily i discovered it & helped to add soil over to its foundation. PHEW. SAFE. & as for the lavender… still no signs 
Guess it’s really hard for them to grow in Singapore’s climate. But 1st, let’s wait til 2 wks (the max required days to grow) is up before 判它死翘翘吧 xD
Today my turn to take assessment. SO NERVOUS LO! LoL. Luckily the overall is okay 
Now to stress on the new lessons. Can already forsee the next assessment coming up xD
Johnny contacted me today. He told me to wake up from my dream. Thanks Johnny, really. I’m gonna revert back to being the Kelis back then from Lasalle, during the time when I was the most determined. & I want to be stronger than back then. I want to succeed. I hate my free time. I hate to slack. I hate the me right now who is a nobody. I want to move forward, & I want to move forward without failing this time. You’re right Johnny – a successful career person will have a successful personal life. I won’t let anything come into my path. Arigatou
Today when I reached home, I got another surprise! There are alr 6 Marigold buds growing! So fast~ Really incredile & excited to see their future progress. Hope they’ll bloom well. & the lavender is still an unknown.. Let’s not give up hope just yet – life is full of surprises, like the one below 
Is this fate? Today I got to meet a new girl. Just nice we got paired up tgt. Kinda nice to chat with, & makes the day brighten up But let’s not think too much & let the flow follow nature Today didn’t hv assessment as well – My group is at the back, so might be tmr or Mon, so think I better go sleep now & rest to be prepared. Oyasumi
I was amazingly happy when I reached hm today! Guess what? Yup, u got it right! A bud grew! It’s so tiny & cute! It’s amazing it’s only the 3rd day I think it’s a Marigold. 1st time in my life I hv given life Here’s the pictures:
Cute right~? So happy 3<
At work
Today was a shock – cos suddenly got assessment! & it’s only the 3rd day. Luckily the previous group took too long, so my group get to delay til tmr morning xD I’m so anxious about the test. I can’t say I’m totally prepared for it. But let’s just stay calm & do my best kay, kelis. Whatever happens just let it happen. Just rmb not to leave any regrets, u’ve alr made many in ur life. I’ll do my best tmr, for all those ppl who care for me.
No change yet. How I hope I can see buds growing soon. Just watered the vase 2 hrs ago. Jo commented last night that it’s impossible to have lavender growing in Singapore. “I can make the impossible, possible” – Gundam Seed quote. Let’s hope the climate change can do a miracle. Anyways it’s too early to make judgement now. It’s only the 2nd day. Let’s not give up hope
Today I did something very foolish, I hope I don’t ever do it again… Don’t worry it’s not committing suicide, I understand very well I’ve still got my family to take care of in future. I don’t know. I need to calm my heart even more for the tougher challenges to come. I must admit this time, my self-confidence alone is not enough. I’ll needs tons of hard work, support & luck. I’ll strive til the end. & in order to do so, I’ll need to go rest now. Super tired… only slept 4 hrs ytr. Better hurry to bed, tmr’s an early day too. Good night~
Below are some pictures on the process of how I planted the seeds with the help of my dad last night This is the 1st time in my life that I’ve planted anything, the 1st time I’ve given life. Let’s hope all grows well okay! Lalala~
Dun mind Puffy! He just wants to extra! xP *wacks his butt*
Here’re the 2 kind of seeds I’ve planted. Lavender & Marigold – They’re nice! Lavender is a bit difficult in Singapore’s temperature though. It needs 18~24 degrees. But I’ll still give it a try cos I like it very much Let’s hope a miracle will happen & they’ll bloom~ Just finish watering them. Will make sure I be punctual to do so everyday after work from now on
Today was shiong, didn’t make many friends though. But oh while I guess I just followed the flow. I’ll let nature take its course. The trainer was very friendly & boy, the 2nd half of the day was fierce. I won’t reveal what it really is as it might be sensitive. All I can say is, my fingers are numb & cramped. Boy, let’s hope I can survive tmr cos there’ll be more!
Met Jo, Long & my bro slightly after lesson. It was good to see familiar faces. We all hv a long hard road ahead of us & these 3 months will determine our future. So everyone, let’s stay focus okay!
& tks Ah Huan, tks for contacting me last night. You really changed my attitude. You reminded me of “Avatar”. Happiness will come to those who strive. I’ll need to go tame a bigger dragon. LoL. Let’s all meet 3 months ltr & see how each of us are doing kay! Wish u all the best in ur new semester!
& tks Jo, for ur encouragement last night. It was sudden but it granted me a good night’s rest, tks reli. U do ur best too! Don’t go off emo-ing like me kay! xD I’ll always be behind u (sounds scary.. like ghost! LOL). Let’s all meet up real soon on off days & hv fun! Especially the CNY fireworks~!
& tks Ed, for ur encouragement as well. U strive at ur new “super busy” work too kay! I know life’s hard when big changes come, let’s all face it upfront & win ok! I know u’re a stronger person than me. So just give it ur best & “nankuruniasa”. Cya at the steamboat “tuan yuan fan” this wk end~
MBS orientation was full of surprises. But sad to say… most of these surprises weren’t good…
1st of all, I got seperated from Jo & Long, while my bro was in the same color team as me – yellow. But eventually, we started to realise that siblings cant be in the same team, so most likely I’ll get seperated to somewhere else again. I was.
At the end of the day, I saw my group – I was the only one in the morning shift, with Long, my bro & Jo in the afternoon shift… Which means we won’t get to see one another at work anymore. When I work, they’ll off. When they off, I’ll work. LOL.
I was already quite down before realizing this. I’m weak, I really am. I’m too used to being not alone. At home, there’s always Puffy with me. Last time, there’s always Dear there for me, supporting me. How I wish I could be as strong as I was during my army days, during my Lasalle days, nvr fearing loneliness. Now, even if I wish to rely on my ICG friends, they’re no longer with me. I am all alone. But I’ll be strong to walk this path. I have to. So that I can be there to open the vase time-capsule 2 years from now. I want to become a better person.
After much consideration, I felt that it’s best to bury what we have under the Earth – To forget her, to forget us – while still counting the time between us. I really don’t want us to end like this. At the same time, I could channel my remaining love for her onto these flowers that I’m gonna grow (bought the seeds alr ).
The idea is to bury our straw-star capsule, & our smaller straw-star capsule that she made for me last V-day, together with our angel time-capsule which we were supposed to bury this coming V-day, into a huge vase along my corridor. This is to lay down my feelings of really letting go of what was precious to us, & at the same time, I buried a letter for the both of us from 2 years later to read. The date to open this vase time-capsule is exactly 2 years later from the day of our separation – 30th Dec 2011.
Here’s a final picture of our straw-star capsule before it’s buried…
Here’s a final picture of our angel time capsule…
Here’s the vase, I finished burying everything on the night of 17th Jan 2010, before I went for MBS orientation on the 18th. I thought that could settle down my feelings for the new challenge to come.
Today, I’m gonna start planting the two seeds I’ve bought
Hope they’ll grow nice. Wish me luck!
